# 579 - Moment by Moment

I now have a new computer and am thrilled because my others had given me headaches when trying to write and post.

Things are changing in this part of my teeny world since I've finally purchased and am using my first MacBook Pro. I'm now on a steep learning curve and often veer off path as I try to figure out this new existence sans a PC.

As for living with Addison's, this year we've jumped back into traveling with an effort far bigger than a splash. I'll be sharing how we've experienced beautiful travels as Addison's is a concern along the way.

Nana & Pappy on another cruise to the Western Caribbean this summer.

No matter, for 2022, I've enjoyed beautiful days of immense adventure and other bed-ridden days where I'm content to binge some series on Netflix or Hulu. On the difficult days, I struggle, but I constantly make peace with my day-to-day physical limitation.

Adaptation is key to living a great life with Addison's or with any physical condition that demands your attention, whether it be sudden or a snowball sort of attention-grabbing health issues.

The days when there are only slight taps on the shoulder, "Excuse me, could you spare me a brief moment so we can avoid the brick wall ahead," are the best kinds. On those days, you're in tune with your body, and no sneaky-fox Addison's symptoms are pouncing upon you.

Here I am at the start of summer at 54. No makeup.

Just me with my art supplies.

Traveling can be a challenging time when you have Addison's, but I don't let it hold me back, until it actually pulls me down and my moment of choice has altered to a moment of adapting to what I MUST do to get through the worst of it.

I take decent care of myself, and I don't hold back seizing the day. And yes, that means confronting my health needs, being prepared, listening to my body, and knowing when to stop seizing and to instead wave the little white flag.

On the white flag days, I make a hasty retreat to climb into bed and allow my body to do the dance of calming rest.

I've lived with Addison's a long time and have had a rather joyful existence despite very critical times... a broken neck and other multiple surgeries that were about as high on a surgical-risk scale as you can get for a normal, healthy person, but I got through them with Addison's. 

There have been illnesses and heart-wrenching deaths of people I most loved, and I figured out how to get through it all... with Addison's pouncing on my devastated state of existence. Staying on top of my blood pressure, heart rate, medicine, and it can be a juggling act. Times of loss can make it extremely difficult to manage Addison's. 

We all walked to a special spot in Texas to spread my father's ashes. With my mother's.

That's Coco, his oldest great-grandchild walking in front of me.

In 2020, I lost my father, and I will admit that the year that followed his death put a strain upon my body as never before. His passing caused extreme stress, which made managing Addison's a warring time for my body.

There were many months when I had trouble walking... forget stairs... and I lived with nausea. I did take stress doses, but there is no easy way around the ups and downs that come with profound loss. It was an Addison's nightmare that I did my best to handle without adding stress upon others, but it was probably the most dangerous phase for me, other than my surgeries.

Dad is now with Mom who died in 2006 at 57-years-old due to breast cancer. Dad was 74, and I had selfishly wanted more time with him. He went to Italy shortly before he passed, spending a good deal of time there. I'm glad he did so much in life, but he's now moved to a new address in Heaven, again with so many people he loved. 

I'll write more about his passing later because my long-time readers know of my closeness with my father. I have been blessed.

My mom and dad when we lived in Scotland. I took this picture of them.

But the good days give me reason to savor each second of treasured vibrancy, whether it be from a sedentary position or with me dancing in celebration. I go with what I'm given. 

I barter with my body. I know, for the most part, about the precarious give-and-take relationship I share within it. If I don't listen to my body's needs as it carries a passenger I must address, then that passenger, Addison's, will rule the day... and perhaps more.

To get to my next best day, I've got to listen to the passenger inside. I have to stay on top of things to keep it quiet and satisfied. Sometimes it makes demands upon me that I cannot overrule, and this is when adapting is the key to living a great life. I refuse to hand over more than is absolutely necessary to this passenger.

That means I don't let Addison's own me. I refuse to let it hold my life hostage. When strong, energetic days are presented, I don't question it. On those days, I get into the highest gear allowed and tackle as much as I can for as long as I can.

Pappy with our two oldest grandsons & Nyms.

With Addison's, you never know how the next day might go, so when the good days come, you make it work for you. Those are often catch-up days. Those are the days when I am enthusiastic yet a microscopic part of me yearns for the pre-Addison days when I hadn't known high gear would become a rarity.

These days, I have leveled-out, for the most part. I do not have many high-gear days nor too many days of feeling dissolved, but both kinds of days do make their respective appearances here and there. 

The "walking through mud" sensation I began having when Addison's decided I was a prime vehicle for it to hitch a lifelong ride in... that sensation is still with me, more or less. Depending on the day, there is either thick mud I must press and battle to wade through with each step or there are energetic days when it's easier to move, but the mud then can fall upon me from the Heavens, threatening to press me to the ground. 

Having Addison's is indescribable, but when my blood pressure and electrolytes go out of whack, I can feel like a rag doll surrounded by mud. That's the best way I can describe it.

Sometimes my symptoms are in check with treatment and are barely noticeable, but I've never had a day when the disease is completely absent. And yes, I have to turn down more invitations than I'd like. I have to ration my energy. For me, it is more than a precious commodity.

If I want to show true love for my family, I've got to be real with my limitations yet not use the disease to bail out of life. The stressful things do take a toll, that's the entire nature of Addison's, yet I have to decide how much of a toll I can manage with medication.

On a recent cruise in May. At the "no choice" phase. I had to rest.

Sometimes I appear normal looking on the outside, and then I'll have a day when strangers reach out to ask if I'm okay or their eyes hesitate upon me for too long as their expressions reveal concern. Boy, I don't like those days.

My grown daughters understand that my body requires more rest than it once did, and they're totally onboard with normalizing my normal, and I love their own adaptability. I have daughters who are now amazing women, wonderful mothers, and we all treasure one another.

With my oldest daughter, Heather. 

I can't put into words what she means to my heart and soul.

We can never make it through photos without cracking up.

Regardless of what each day holds, I keep wading through the mud on the days when it is all but a brick wall, and I must battle to get to the bathroom. And like I said earlier, sometimes the mud moves from in front of me, changing consistency and coming at me from a new direction... falling upon me, like an invisible light rain that isn't actually light. It is pressing. It's a strange resistance when our body is affected by the worst of Addison's.

And as I age, now in my fabulous fifties, I find some things are harder because of Addison's, but the strange thing is that a lot of things are easier. Living with this passenger for over two decades has taught me valuable lessons. 

Me with my youngest son-in-law, Brice this summer.

This specific, unique disease has taught me specific, unique life-saving attitudes and behaviors. Those translate to prompt me to make the best actions for surviving the mud-slinging disease I've come to study, respect, and learn.

After all, my attitude is the best shovel one can own against this disease. Years and years ago, I thought Finding Lana would be easier after Addison's hailed me as its permanent ride when I was 33-years-old, but I've learned that finding my adaptable self is a lifelong journey. Addison's means various phases of life will require additional adapting to the disease... in many ways. I'll age into new issues, but Addison's always complicates matters, and I do not ignore that fact.

If you have Addison's or any other disease or condition that requires vigilant attention, I hope you never stop figuring out how to help yourself make it through days when the mud is packed around you.

This is a recent 24-hour time constraint charcoal

of my oldest daughter, from when she was a kid.

Take notice of your body and take NOTES. Figure out what makes days better and what makes them worse. Monitor your vitals, Juggle those medications to give yourself the best Addison's ever-changing self-treatment that you can muster.

I want others to know there are treasured lessons that come from great struggles, lessons healthy people are often ignorant in knowing. That's not a bad thing. But, living with such a struggle can provide rare Masterclass lessons in countless ways, giving you "new" eyes for seeing everything touched by life. 

My oldest grandchild, Coco.

My youngest daughter, Stefie, with her beautiful family.

My goofy husband to whom I've been married a LONG time.

We not killed each other, and the lack of bloodshed has been worth it!

If you can figure it out, tell me the good lessons - the surprising lessons - and the lessons you might not have learned without the boost from whatever it is that requires you to adapt.

Keep your inner shovel ready, but know when to set it aside and tune-out the world so you can endure the worst, whether the worst be minutes long or longer. How do you adapt and make life matter during those moments?

What matters to you? How do you provide self-care and self-nurturing.

For me, I take actions to make life worth living. I savor the small stuff for as long as possible and spit out the bitter as fast as I can. I make downtimes work for me, either through that tv binging, through writing, or through art. During those times, my passenger must stay seated and well-mannered because I'm still in charge.

Treating my in-laws to another late lunch.

How do you hand peace to your inner-self in spite of a raucous passenger? What is your distraction?

Live well, MOMENT-BY-MOMENT, no matter your speed!

***

PS: Leave a comment. I'll have to moderate it, but it will then post to the comments section for others to see and for me to respond to.

# 558 - Country House Update...WEATHER Stalls Work

The house is coming along. Over the past few weeks the weather has truly interfered with construction progress. It is difficult because I can see in this house in the distance, through the woods, yet we cannot move into it yet.

The above view is from a second downstairs bedroom or from a room that can be used as a den.

The hardy board is primed a yellowish color...yet to be painted.

My husband has taken care of most of the electrical requirements for the house because the bids were astronomical, so he's now been doing things in a significant manner so we can finish the house.

I've worked extremely hard to keep our budget within strict boundaries. That doesn't happen easily. And things have come up, of course, that have blown the budget to a degree.

The plumbing has been a hefty expense, but our plumber is very experienced, which counts for a lot. The septic tank is a separate expense and will be a few thousand more than expected because our soil dictates that a gravity-fed system is impossible, so an aerobic system is required. But, I adore our plumber, a Cajun from Louisiana; he's very experienced with designing great plumbing systems with efficient layout, but he strictly does pipe plumbing for the house and the septic requires a completely different crew.

As a former city girl, I had not truly understood that these were such separate areas...plumbers and septic installers are not necessarily one in the same.

Another area that we didn't plan for was the piping from the water main to the house...Sgt. Dave is currently running 1 1/2" schedule 40 piping from the main to the house for the plumber to connect so we will have running water.

The septic workers haven't been able to come do the installation because the weather won't allow the heavy equipment to be operated in the mucky mess. And we can't spread the Rye seed until the septic is installed because it will just be ruined by the septic crew. So, for now, we have a muddy mess surrounding the house.

The larger piping from the water main to the house will be better able to handle the proper pressure needed to transfer and disperse water to the house. So, a lot of underground piping will need to be done properly so the house can actually be connected to the water supply.

Here is the back of the house and the general area, likely, where
the septic system and leech field will be located.

Back to the electrical part of construction...The electrical was shockingly expensive. Our builder is normally within an accurate guessing range of $500 to $1,000. for each area of work needed to finish the house, but even he has been astounded by sky high estimates for electrical work.

For instance, one company gave a quote to ONLY run electrical wire through the house. Sgt. Dave drilled all the holes through the 2x4's, and he installed all the blue outlet/switch housing boxes. We were supplying all materials to strand the wire, and they wanted almost $10,000. just to string the wire, that's it.

The way the stained glass windows look from the porch
when there is a light turned on inside the house via electrical cord.

The great thing is that I managed to save us thousands by drawing, re-drawing and again drawing our house plans that were carefully followed by the builder. I consulted with too many experts, did too much research, and took too much time to carefully consider every single detail for the layout of this house. Working to understand the most efficient layout for plumbing, the most desirable kitchen design, and to build a house with GREAT closet space has been crucial for me. Working in real estate for years definitely helped.

And it was a challenge to find the best appliances at the deepest savings...the work to get this house built has been stressful and never-ending. The hardest part for me is that even in my "down" time, my brain is in continual high gear and processing the things that need to be done, the order of events so we don't spend extra money or time trying to correct a needless mistake, and I must make sure that the people I must stay in contact with understand everything that is happening with other contractors and time-lines so they never step on each other's toes. It's been a massive juggling act.

However, things have definitely slowed down. Much has been accomplished, but as the saying goes, "The devil is in the details." It is true that the details are the most challenging and difficult part of the process.

Still, the expense to build a custom home in a rural area is significant.

There are other ways I've learned to save a great deal of money. For instance, I don't make one trip to Lowe's or Home Depot without KNOWING exactly what I am going to buy and the research has already been done with extensive notes ready for referral. We cannot afford, money-wise or time-wise, to be wandering through the store, and we can't buy things that are unnecessary or the wrong item. Sometimes they don't have the things we came to buy. That stinks.

At the start of the process, I bought a college notebook with ruled pages to take extensive notes, and I carry that sucker with me everywhere. It is filled with crucial measurements, layout information, directional details...such as which side the tub skirt and drain should be facing, etc.

As for me, I had to design the bathrooms to fit the tubs, showers, toilets, sinks, etc., and let me tell you that there is much to consider with room layouts...shower pans/basins, type of tub, direction of drain, placement of drain, height of shower walls, types of shower doors, desired depth and length of shower space and much more. I've seen my share of HORRIBLE bathroom layouts, so let's keep our fingers crossed that my planning and efforts will pay off with un-horrible bathrooms.

So far, the most exciting part of the rough-in process has been to see the HVAC system be installed. The crew built the rigid runs on the job-site and used rigid as much as possible, but in some areas flex duct was required. The attention to detail was awesome. I stand in each room and look at the vents and imagine what it will feel like to have cold air or heat blasting through them.

Because the house has a story and a half with a vaulted ceiling across almost half the house, I knew we needed a dual-zoned air-conditioning system. This means we would have two systems with two thermostats.

I spoke with a total of three potential HVAC contractors and one of them didn't want to install a true separate zoned systems...he wanted to put in one 5-ton unit. This guy tried to convince me that this one unit would do the job, in Texas, with a second floor of multiple rooms and high ceilings. The HVAC company I ended up hiring was in total agreement regarding the necessity of the separately zoned system and the owner of the company clarified the reasons the one 5-ton unit would not be efficient, specifically due to the design of the house.

Where space is tight, they installed flex ducting.

Having one 5-ton unit would have perpetually created zones in the house that would either be too hot or too cool...controlled temperatures would have been more difficult. With one unit, getting the entire house to a feel-great consistent temperature would have been impossible.

We also went with a heatpump, which these days can be switched off when not needed. The heat-pumps of today are not the same as they were a few years ago. They can save major energy and when not needed, you just flip a switch to turn them off.

We are also have two 4-ton blowers, which will truly help blast the cool air throughout the house.

I've already gotten the estimate to get the house insulated with the blown-in expanding foam insulation that is top-notch. One of my HVAC workers said that once that insulation is in place that the interior of the house will be the same as a YETI Ice Chest. That cracked me up. I don't know how they'll get the insulation in the area behind the air-conditioning units, but we will see.

But, we can't move forward with the insulation until the plumbing, HVAC and electrical is finished being roughed-in. Almost there...just electrical needs to be finished and then we can roll forward.

And, the kitchen cabinets are going to be a dream-come-true for me and my husband. At this time, they are in the process of being built. Our cabinet builder even MILLS HIS OWN WOOD. He is incredible. I was in disbelief that our kitchen cabinetry, custom built AND installed, is LESS money than buying the ready-made-to-install cabinetry at the local hardware store. I had never dreamed of being able to have a kitchen as we will enjoy because Houston prices were off the charts. This is one area where country living has paid off.

I have already researched, priced, ordered and paid for our kitchen appliances. All Kenmore Elite appliances. They are sitting in a warehouse waiting to be delivered and installed. I was able to buy high-end appliances by sticking to a budget, being patient, ordering through our Sears Hometown store that had the freedom to come down even further off the advertised sale's price while ordering multiple appliances also reduced the overall cost by another 15%. Ordering on a holiday weekend made the sale prices even better.

Our Sears Hometown store is also delivering and INSTALLING all the appliances for approximately $87. - a one-time fee for all appliances to be installed. The only thing they won't do is connect water/plumbing lines, so I already purchased all the connections for the dishwasher and refrigerator water/ice-maker for Sgt. Dave to hook up during the Sears installation. Since the double-ovens weigh nearly 300 lbs, this is a valuable benefit of working with the local store...ordering through a regular Corporately owned Sears would've meant a much higher price for at-home delivery and installation.

As for kitchen countertops, I am still exploring options. I am old-fashioned and love tiled countertops because of the texture and depth, but the grout lines are not good for some food prepping, such as baking. So, the island will likely have granite.

Another expense was garage doors.

After calling around to price different companies, I was surprised to discovered a significant difference between one local company and another that is about 40 miles further away. The one further away was at least $350. less for the same door.

So, we installed two insulated garage doors and purchased decorative perimeter weather stripping and it cost right at $1,565.00. for both doors, installed. Not Bad!

After next weekend, we will officially begin locking the doors to the house and garage.

This is the house BEFORE the full beams were added around
the entire porch. Beefy beams.

But, the BEST feeling was to see the first tub installed upstairs. This tub is porcelain over steel and cost only $110. at Home Depot!

The Master Bathroom will have a regular tub, but with a more angled back to allow for soaking. We decided to not get an over-sized corner or garden tub because the water usage would be ridiculous and that's not great for a septic system...too much water can cause hydraulic overload. So, we remained conservative in these areas.

We have three bathrooms and have these toilets. It is interesting.

This toilet has two flush options on top of tank. Let me break it down for you...there's a PeePee flush option that uses less water, and a second Poo-Poo flush option that uses more water and pressure to SWISH the poo AWAY! Eventually, I will let you know how these work.

And to catch up...In September, me and my daughter Stefie made a road trip to see my oldest daughter since she had just given birth to their first son. We had a wonderful few days at the Johnson house. Stefie had a great time giving Coraline extra attention; it isn't easy suddenly becoming a big sissy!

Hank was 9 lbs 6oz when he was born in a birthing center as my daughter delivered him completely natural. Heather is amazing. I have two grand-babies now. I've been back a couple more times for visits since his birth, but this first visit with Hank was awesome.

Me and my week old grandson, Hank.

It was wonderful to hold my grandson and worth the crazy road trip to get there! Stefie and I laughed so hard and had such a wonderful road trip together that I'd do it again in a heartbeat with her.

My daughter and son-in-law, Heather & Henry with their babies...
Coraline and Hank. Their family is beautiful.

Heather is a very busy momma with TWO children!

Getting our house finished is extra important. Our family is growing. We all love each other and want to spend more time together. For me, this time of living in an RV for over 2 1/2 years has been extremely difficult since I am super involved with my family. There were moments I'd love to just walk away and say FORGET IT...then we drive into the city and remember the increasing congestion and the conveniences aren't worth it.

This time of great sacrifice is for a bigger reason...being patient a little longer is my requirement. Well, being a patient a LOT longer is going to be necessary, but we will keep going and enjoy the journey.

# 552 - Clearing Land - a GrandBaby - a Niece!

The past two weeks have found us to be busy...nonstop. We first started with the unbelievably great experience of having our grandbaby Coraline with Nana and Pappy! I laughed about us being in an RV during our first extended visit with Coraline, but it was a blessing and rather easy to keep up with a 20 month old in a small space! She has stayed the night with us a few times before, but this visit was a week long visit...perfect!

Coraline and her babies as they are kissing goodnight!

Then, it became an extra delight to find that my daughter Heather had already been potty training Coraline and our stay gave her a warp push forward with potty training, probably because of the small space involved with our temporary living quarters. Soon, Coraline refused to wear a wet diaper or even a dry diaper and the good news is, in seven days of watching her, I only had to change ONE poopy diaper on her first day with us...all other poopies were IN THE POTTY! Yes, if you change diapers or have EVER changed a diaper during your lifetime, you can understand that this is newsworthy info!

One sunny afternoon at the park to let the
grand-baby RUN --- too many days of rain
had made us stir-crazy. She needed to be a kid!

The next week, I had my eight year old niece Shaye to watch. She was adorable. Actually, I had both children for nearly 48 hours, so I was reminded of what it is like to have two energetic children in my possession! It was wonderful! And I was thankful these cousins got to spend some time together.

Coraline and Shaye...My grand-daughter and niece. Super special kids!

I even got to enjoy a visit with my dad who got to cuddle and be delighted by his first great-grand-daughter. I know my dad, these moments were Heavenly to him. I could see the father he had been to me as he held is great-grandbaby girl. He becomes a puddle of mush when allowed to just be himself with the baby. I sure love my dad.

My daddy and his great-grandbaby.

Soon, Coraline was on her way home with her parents, back to the Greater Fort Worth Area and this gave me and Shaye some much needed time alone. So, we headed back to the country and I bought Shaye a pair of galoshes so she could go on a hike through the acreage to see the future home-site being cleared by the timber crew. I wanted her to see the construction process from the start. But, she had never owned a pair of rain boots and wasn't very confident in their ability to keep her feet dry.

Her Uncle David had to say, "Girl, step into that water! Those boots were made to keep your feet dry!"

She finally took a timid step and then she shared a HUGE smile as she realized her socks were still dry. Then, Shaye began to find every puddle in her path so she could tread across the muckiness.

Shaye and Gracie had a great time exploring the build-site together.

Of course, she got to have her new boots hosed off after the hike. Shaye LOVES her rain boots. We talked about her being able to wear them on rainy days and not worry about the puddles. I think she will be ready for the next rain day with a smile.

Next, it was my turn. Sgt. Dave hosed down my own boots as I stood and giggled. How does that man still manage to make me giggle and smile as my cheeks get flushed?

It is difficult to believe that our house will soon be standing in this area. We will soon have a REAL house, with a metal roof instead of an RV with slide-outs!

I can't wait!

Have I said that I can't wait?

Oh yea...I CAN'T WAIT!