Thursday, June 2, 2011

#20 - Saving My Sanity

A blog friend recently made a comment on one of my latest writings that she hoped I would be able to move to the country very soon so I could keep my sanity. She (B) is right.

Something has happened to me during the past few years, I've made some kind of mysterious shift from being happy and entranced with city life to experiencing eye-opening and soul-awakening life trips that have altered my direction. Now, I am comfortable with the thought of living in a rural area. More than that, I crave to live full-time at our country acreage. I won't fib, I actually get depressed when too much time passes from the last trip to our land.

Over the past ten years of owning our land, I have learned that being surrounded by masses of people in a city does not mean that you aren't still alone. Conversely, I've also learned that being alone with fewer people nearby in the country doesn't mean that you aren't a social butterfly.

I can either have the conveniences of living in the city and pay the price which means congestion, higher crime rates, less physical space, more interruptions and always having the sense of being in a rush...either you are in a rush or you are next to someone who is clearly in a rush and you are probably in their way.

Another drive into downtown Houston.
When I'm on our land, I feel peaceful. There is no one watching me or judging my attire to make sure it is cutting edge or appropriate for the moment. On our land, I can sit in a lawn chair while wearing my Walmart knit dress and flip flops, yet feel completely put together.

Walking through our wooded acreage gives me some kind of mysterious fuel. I take a deep cleansing breath of the fresh forest air and feel refreshed. I take steps upon natural earth covered in dirt, composting leaves, pine needles and I am glad to leave my concrete and metal world behind. All the birds chirping and flying around remind me of the freedom that we have in the country and I bask in their fluttering sounds as it calms my spirit that has felt too caged in the city.

While enjoying a moment together outside before going into our tent, we sit on our land and gaze up into the starlit sky with amazement, as if it is a new wonder for us to behold. The twinkling lights we get to enjoy in the city come from street lights, towering buildings and billboards. The city has blanketed the earth as much as possible with its artificial materials while city lights have managed to smother the twinkling of the night sky.

The moon peaking through the forest over our shoulder.
Do I love the city? Yes, a part of me does. After all, mankind has created this concentrated place of untold businesses and medical care facilities and worldwide goods for our pleasure and the wondrous ability of man is demonstrated by a cityscape.

However, I'm not so flattered by the wondrous ability of man any longer; maybe I never really had been as flattered as I had convinced myself to be. I'm deeply drawn to all things in nature and toward a life as free from city congestion and city interruptions as possible.

And then, I am interrupted...

As I've sat here writing, I've already had to go to my front door to turn away a solicitor. I had been peacefully sitting here as Deputy Dave takes a nap and I hear the loud door bell, DING DONG."

I jump up to close the master bedroom door to keep sleeping man from waking and I go to the door, with caution. However, you and I both know that I'd rather be sitting in peace writing about wanting to move out to the country.

Who is at my door? A solicitor. It's almost as if he knew what I was writing about so he decided to come solidify my stance about moving to the country. One thing is for sure, the city has plenty of solicitors, even if you have a sign that says, "No Solicitors" at your front door.

This little man was slick. I stood behind my unopened door and he had his back turned toward me, as if it is me who is required to get HIS attention at MY front door. My dogs were alert and ready to start their judgement, and I yelled through the door, "Can I help you?" The man turned, obviously disappointed that I've not opened my door fully in this 90+ degree Texas heat, so he quickly held up a card and pressed it against my front door glass. The card said, "Front Door Restoration."

I wanted to laugh out loud. My door IS horrendous. It needs to be sanded, re-stained and sealed, plus the stained glass needs to be replaced for the third time, but I laughed at the ironic moment. Here I am, standing at my front door in the city that seems to invite every interruption imaginable and this solicitor is using my ugly front door as the very excuse to stand there intruding upon my life.

"Not interested, I like my ugly door."

One day day very soon I'll be able to better hold onto my sanity and prereserve my peace behind the country ugly front door.


Rae said...

You can't beat being out in the middle of nowhere! I love that I can actually see stars at our place, and no solicitor is going to drive down our long dirt driveway past multiple "no trespassing/private property" signs. :) Ahhh... The joys of living in the country.

Lana from Farm Life Lessons said...

My husband is on vacation this week and he never ceases to be amazed at how many solicitors we have. The city next to us has a city ordinance against door to door solicitation and I sure do wish we would have the same!! But, you are right about being in the country and enjoying the stars and not having to worry about anyone trespassing without doing some serious thinking about what they might confront. Here...people just go up to your door and don't want to take "no" for an answer. It certainly does toughen you up after a while, but I'd rather spend that extra energy doing something on my land!

LindaG said...

Hubby is the same way as you. He can't wait to get back to our property. Don't get me wrong. In spite of all the work, I love it, too. But it's $2000 +or- every trip we make.

To make him happy, we are going more short trips to mow if nothing else.
To make me happy, we leave on payday. Both boys work part time. I pay the bills before we leave and they are responsible for feeding themselves.

On your property (which is much larger than ours ;-) ) you can do as my other blog friends do, who have huge property. Go out in your peejays. ;-)

I do know how you feel though. *hugs* ♥

LindaG said...

P.S. To me, cities like Houston are only good to visit, because of all the stuff that people like about cities; but I prefer going 'home' again.
Have never lived in a really big city. :)

Lana from Farm Life Lessons said...

Linda...we've not yet gotten into the expensive stuff, well, that's not completely true, we have spent several thousands of dollars, but the past two years we've been going with our regular equipment and are just trying to keep the area mowed, the tent site kept clear and fallen trees burned or cut up for wood. But, it is so very expensive. As we all know - especially with gas prices, that cost eats us up since we are driving a truck that is pulling a trailer loaded down with farm equipment. I wonder what stage you guys are at with your land?